I was recently part of a conversation about someone’s children in their twenties, being in a serious relationship, or not looking for their future spouse. It is okay to be in your twenties and not be in a relationship, engaged, or married.
I shared with them that I was 22, almost 23 years old, before I got married. I am the oldest of 10 children. I remember inviting the boys who were interested in me to my family home as a test. I would invite them to see how they would interact with my younger siblings. On several occasions, I observed these young men in my father’s house, and I blatantly told them to go home and never spoke to them again. My parents would tell me how rude that was and should apologize to them. In hindsight, it probably was rude, but I couldn’t see giving them hope by apologizing.
So, here I am, alone in my 50s. The thought of dating scares me more than going for a walk in the dark.
I pray every day that the Lord guides my life in all things. I pray for my future and, if there is to be another in my life, that he is a godly man with the same faith and believes in the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the LORD, and touch not the unclean thing: and I will receive you. And will be a Father unto you. And ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty."
2 Corinthians 6:14–18
If it’s the Lord’s will that I am alone for the rest of my life, I am okay with that, too, because I want to do his will and follow the path he has set forth for me to do his will.
"I say, therefore, to the unmarried and widows.
It is good for them if they abide even as I."
1 Corinthians 7:8
Being a widow for the last three years, I have found more freedom and time to study my Bible, pray, and do God’s callings. This reminds me of Anna in the Bible, who was from the tribe of Asher. She was a widow and was very old. She lived in the temple; she was called a prophet. Praying day and night. If she were married, she may not have been able to spend that time in the temple and have had that intimate relationship with the Lord. She would have been distracted by caring for her husband and a home.
The Bible tells of Phoebe even though it does not state if she was married or a widow, but she had the independence to do God’s work. She could travel and minister God’s word to the church at Cenchrea. She was a deacon and did great works for the church (Romans 16).
The Lord has a role for all of us in spreading the gospel to the lost in this world. Some roles we may have to do alone, and some roles we may have a partner like Ruth, who followed her mother-in-law to her homeland, where she married a man named Boaz after being widowed by Mahlon. God blessed her with a home and a partner who was a believer, just as she was. They had a son, Obed, who they raised in their faith. Obed began the line to the King of Israel, a boy named David (Ruth 4:13-22).
We do not know what God has in store for us, but if we follow him and have faith doing his will, He will not let us fail. He will keep us strong until we walk through those pearly gates in Heaven.
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