Slowly, the wind blew silent whispers into the cracks of the little home, finding their way to the young girl lying on the bed – whispers of oppression and low self-worth. Tears were on her face as she thought how alone she felt in a house full of people. She closed her eyes, glad for a few minutes in the bedroom by herself since she shared the bedroom with two other sisters. She had a bed to herself, but the other two sisters had to share a bed.
These few moments alone were precious. Sometimes, she felt more like a live-in nanny than a member of a family. In a little while, she would have to watch her siblings as her parents would leave to make a house call to a family in their church.
As she lay in bed, the whispers circled around in her head: "You're not as important to them. The church is more important than you. You're just a babysitter, not a daughter. You're just a free babysitter, and your salvation is not as important as the parishioner's salvation."
As the whispers assault her mind and the tears fall, she suddenly hears a voice saying, “You are strong. You are beautiful, and most of all, you have a heart full of God's love because God loves you. God LOVES you.” The girl repeats it silently to herself. I am loved. I am strong because of God. She slowly gets up and walks out of the bedroom to the bathroom. Luckily, no one is in there. Usually, there is someone in the bathroom with a house full of eight people and all the little friends or cousins that come to play. Last time she had to wait ten minutes for someone to come out of the bathroom. She washed her face as she raised her head and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hazel eyes were red and puffy. She tells her reflection in the mirror, "I am loved, and I am a daughter of God. I have value." Although she said the words, she really didn't feel them completely. Just as she turns off the water, she hears her mother call her name and say that they are leaving and will be back soon.
A week goes by, and the whispers continue along with the feelings of oppression. A month approaches, and the young girl sits down with a notebook and thinks that writing her feelings down may help her feel better.
She writes her heart down on the pages as she sits back and takes a few minutes to take a few deep breaths, but she really doesn't feel any better than before she began to write. She pulls the notebook back toward her and begins to read what she wrote, and tears flow down her face and onto the paper. She rereads the hateful words and hurtful things she wrote about her parents. She cries and prays, "Please, God, forgive me for breaking your commandment to honor my parents and all the other commandments. Lord, please help me." The feelings of shame, guilt, disgust, and self-loathing flood her heart. After crying, she tears the pages from the notebook, folding them up and placing them into a built-in wall cabinet. She returned to the makeshift desk, opened her concordance and her little bible, and started looking up scriptures about daughters, love, and forgiveness. She felt deep in her heart she needed to talk to her mother, but every time, something got in the way, as if some unseen person was blocking the conversation, a phone call, a knock on the door, or a sibling needing the girl or the mother for assistance.
It's a Wednesday. She writes a note and addresses it to her mother using her mother's name on the envelope, leaving it on the pulpit. As church begins, her mother silently reads the note. She picks up the mic and says, "Yes, to the person who left the note, I can see you after church." After the service, the girl entered and closed the door. The mother turned around, and the look of shock on her face and her eyes watered as she rushed to her daughter, wrapping her arms around her daughter, who was crying and saying how sorry she was, but she had to talk to her. The mother and woman God also cried and said how sorry she was that she didn't even realize the pain and suffering of her own child and that her daughter had to write a note to her as if she was just another member of the church. Both asked each other for forgiveness. The mother led her daughter out to the sanctuary, calling for the other prayer warriors still present in the church to come to pray for them, which was still quite a few in the old Pentecostal church because midnight used to be the end of church time. Prayer and changes in our mother/daughter relationship made things better.
The Lord wanted me to share this experience for a reason.
Just because you are called to a ministry of some kind, you cannot forget your children, regardless of their age. They are sheep, too. They may not be as spiritual and have the knowledge of God as you do. They may not have the same calling upon their life as you do. Yet, they are vulnerable and useful for Satan to use against you and your calling.
Satan will lie to them and oppress them to hinder their growth. He will attack their mind to prevent them from following God and you as you obey God's calling on your life.
Don't just talk to your family about their daily routines; talk to them about their spiritual routines. Just because you think someone is strong doesn't make it true. Just as you need to take care of their physical needs, you need to make sure their spiritual needs are being met to ensure that Satan cannot get a foothold in their minds.
Don't just pray for them but also pray with them. Make sure they know how to pray. Just as there is no stupid question there is no stupid prayer. All the things that matter to us matter to God because He loves us.
“But if any provide not for his own, especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.” 1 Timothy 5:8
“I love them that love me and those that seek me early shall find me.” Proverbs 8:17
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. Proverbs 20:11
And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD, and great shall be the peace of thy children. In righteousness shalt thou be established thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear and from terror; for it shall not come near thee. Isaiah 54:13-14
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